Shamelessly Seek Him
On May 27, 2015, I was boarding a bus with my good friend Gregory Barker. We were starting a journey that would begin with an 18 hour bus ride. We were joined by 34 strangers who were filing onto the bus where we would be riding and sleeping that night. I boarded that bus not recognizing yet recognizing that I was missing something. I didn't realize that I was missing it until we arrived at our destination the next day.
On Thursday, we arrived at our first site in Kansas City, Missouri. It is a beautiful temple and it was great to walk around the temple and enjoy of the spirit that you can feel on temple grounds. Directly after, we went to the Community of Christ temple (a dissension of the LDS church) in Independence and it was a beautiful building. Speaking with Gregory, it was interesting that we both noticed the lack of meaning and symbolism within the building.
Our next stop on the tour was Liberty Jail. This was a place of great suffering, butt along with suffering came great revelation and purpose. I loved this site and it was incredible to think about the events that transpired in that very place. While it was an amazing experience to be there, I was feeling conflicted inside. I wasn't having as powerful experience as others on the trip and it concerned me. I desired greatly to have a powerful and meaningful spiritual experience. My plea to feel of His spirit in a powerful way began in Liberty Jail on that night.
On Friday morning, we took the short bus ride to Far West Missouri where there is land dedicated for a temple to be built. The memorial has a revelation written on it that says, "Let the city Far West be a holy and consecrated land unto me, and it shall be called most holy, for the ground upon which thou standest is holy." When I read that phrase, I felt something within me that confirmed that statement to be true. I knew that I was standing upon holy ground, and I felt so grateful for that spiritual confirmation. The spirit of God is subtle, but it will visit you to confirm truth unto your soul. I was grateful for the site at Far West and my soul that was yearning to be filled began to stir within me.
This was the part of the trip when my fellow travelers began to feel more like friends than strangers on a bus. I started to learn more about them and became very comfortable moving up and down the isle talking with just about anybody. When arriving at, and leaving different sites, we would sings hymns of praise, spiritual thoughts and insights were shared by leaders as well as students. Journals were frequently opened both at the sites as well as on the bus while busy hands scurried down a thought or revelation that had come to them in the previous moments. It impressed me greatly to see so many of my classmates anxiously seek the spirit and it helped to educate the desire of my own heart as I too was seeking that spirit.
It was a short bus ride from Far West to Adam Ondi Ahman. I had done some reading about it before we arrived and I was very excited to spend time there. This place holds great significance and as I arrived, I realized that while I trusted the words that had been said about this place, I had never acquired a testimony of Adam Ondi Ahman. We were given some alone time while we were there and I quickly grabbed my journal and walked out into a beautiful field. There was tall grass out in front of me that filled the large field. There were trees at my back and at my right and there I knelt to pray to my Heavenly Father. I knelt in prayer not because I had some great testimony of this place, but as I said above, I was kneeling because I didn't know and wanted so badly to feel his love and confirmation in that sacred location. I pleaded with the Father to grant me the ability to feel and understand the importance of what happened here and what will happen here in the future.
As I opened my eyes and my journal, I looked out over the tall grass and imagined the Savior wading through the tall grass, making his way towards his disciples. A feeling of excitement filled my heart and I wondered, "could this really be the place?" I thanked my Father for the feelings that we stirring in my heart and I arose to walk the road deeper into the site. The road bent and continued around bends and turns. Each bend bringing new beautiful sites to be seen. It might sound silly to some, but as I was walking through, I almost hoped to see the Savior walk out from the trees and asked myself, "if he were to be around the next turn, would I be ready to see him?" The beauty of the place and the feelings in my heart that accompanied my pondering were a magnificent blessing to me. Walking back to the bus with my friend Gregory Barker, I felt full. I'm not sure there are words to explain it, but I felt complete, not lacking anything. I felt so happy and filled in that place that I really didn't want to leave.
Our next stop was Carthage Jail. There was something very special about this place. We walked through the very building where Joseph Smith the prophet was martyred. I looked out the window where he fell. I looked at the door where a mob pushed through with great anger. The bullet hole that took Hyrum's life was there in the door. We sat in silence as Gregory sang, "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief" in the room where the martyrs fell and the spirit was very strong. Upon leaving the building, we gathered and sang "Praise to the Man." In that moment, that hymn carried such weight and significance for me because I felt of the weight of Joseph Smith's calling. My whole life I have been a witness to the work that started when Joseph was a 14 year old boy. At Carthage Jail, his mission came to an end. I never before had been so eager to sing Praise to the Man, perhaps because in that moment, I wanted so badly to praise that man for all that he sacrificed for you and me. The spirit filled me again as we sang. I left the visitors center, and before getting dinner, I thanked my Father for the feelings which He had permitted me to feel.
After a brief bus ride, we arrived at Nauvoo the beautiful. We quickly unloaded from the bus and began walking toward the temple to go to a performance called the trail of hope. As we walked down the street, we came around a building to see the Temple standing majestically in the evening sky. The sight took my breath away. I immediately knew that there was something special in that city. The trail of hope made the exodus from Nauvoo feel very real to me as actors gave portrayals of how the saints in that time felt to be leaving their beloved city. There was a memorial at the end of the trail by the Mississippi River dedicated to those who lost their lives on the trail headed west. One of my new friends, Hallie Holyoak and I chatted as we made our way back to the hotel. We talked of the sacrifice that so many had made so that we can live the gospel today. This became the theme for me throughout the duration of our trip. We saw several performances there in Nauvoo, enjoyed different sites, and each others company. Everything filled me with gratitude for those who came before me. My ancestors felt so very real to me and I wanted to live my life in a way that would continue the legacy that they built. Our last night in Nauvoo, we gathered in front of the temple and sang hymns. We were all grateful for the things that we had experienced there and didn't want to leave. We sang, and hugged, and prayed as our hearts were fixed in Nauvoo and the spirit that had overcome us there. Leaving Nauvoo was difficult for each of us as we began our journey back to the west.
On our way back to Rexburg, We made stops at Winter Quarters, Independence Rock, and Martins Cove. I received several names from my mother of people who may have died on the trek west and as I was at the cemetery in Winter Quarters, I found several of the names that she had sent me. This was a very interesting experience for me. My ancestry, those who gave me my blood, lived and died for this work. I stood in awe as their sacrifice felt evermore real to me. Arriving at Liberty Rock, we climbed to the top of the rock to see names of pioneers etched in the stone. It became easy to imagine the pioneers finding great hope and excitement in the rock where they could see the success of those who had come before them. I could almost feel their spirits as I looked West and could only imagine the feelings that they must have been having as they looked out over the same plains. I am so grateful the for the sacrifice of those beloved saints who gave everything they had to build a legacy of greatness. They lived for their Savior. On that rock, I thought to myself that while this trail was theirs to travel, I can join them on the same journey. It is a journey of seeking Christ. It is a journey of not fearing what man may do or think, but following God and letting the consequences follow. I spent the remaining time on the journey filled with a hope and fire to continue the legacy that they began.
So in closing, I will pose this thought. If having a desire to have the spirit with you, and shamelessly seeking Him are the two elements that provide spiritual opportunities in your life, can we not do that in any place we may be? We must shamelessly seek our Savior. We must seek Him. And I believe that as we do, we will find him. He will reveal himself unto us as we come unto Him.
What are you doing to shamelessly seek him today?
On Thursday, we arrived at our first site in Kansas City, Missouri. It is a beautiful temple and it was great to walk around the temple and enjoy of the spirit that you can feel on temple grounds. Directly after, we went to the Community of Christ temple (a dissension of the LDS church) in Independence and it was a beautiful building. Speaking with Gregory, it was interesting that we both noticed the lack of meaning and symbolism within the building.
Our next stop on the tour was Liberty Jail. This was a place of great suffering, butt along with suffering came great revelation and purpose. I loved this site and it was incredible to think about the events that transpired in that very place. While it was an amazing experience to be there, I was feeling conflicted inside. I wasn't having as powerful experience as others on the trip and it concerned me. I desired greatly to have a powerful and meaningful spiritual experience. My plea to feel of His spirit in a powerful way began in Liberty Jail on that night.
On Friday morning, we took the short bus ride to Far West Missouri where there is land dedicated for a temple to be built. The memorial has a revelation written on it that says, "Let the city Far West be a holy and consecrated land unto me, and it shall be called most holy, for the ground upon which thou standest is holy." When I read that phrase, I felt something within me that confirmed that statement to be true. I knew that I was standing upon holy ground, and I felt so grateful for that spiritual confirmation. The spirit of God is subtle, but it will visit you to confirm truth unto your soul. I was grateful for the site at Far West and my soul that was yearning to be filled began to stir within me.This was the part of the trip when my fellow travelers began to feel more like friends than strangers on a bus. I started to learn more about them and became very comfortable moving up and down the isle talking with just about anybody. When arriving at, and leaving different sites, we would sings hymns of praise, spiritual thoughts and insights were shared by leaders as well as students. Journals were frequently opened both at the sites as well as on the bus while busy hands scurried down a thought or revelation that had come to them in the previous moments. It impressed me greatly to see so many of my classmates anxiously seek the spirit and it helped to educate the desire of my own heart as I too was seeking that spirit.
It was a short bus ride from Far West to Adam Ondi Ahman. I had done some reading about it before we arrived and I was very excited to spend time there. This place holds great significance and as I arrived, I realized that while I trusted the words that had been said about this place, I had never acquired a testimony of Adam Ondi Ahman. We were given some alone time while we were there and I quickly grabbed my journal and walked out into a beautiful field. There was tall grass out in front of me that filled the large field. There were trees at my back and at my right and there I knelt to pray to my Heavenly Father. I knelt in prayer not because I had some great testimony of this place, but as I said above, I was kneeling because I didn't know and wanted so badly to feel his love and confirmation in that sacred location. I pleaded with the Father to grant me the ability to feel and understand the importance of what happened here and what will happen here in the future.
As I opened my eyes and my journal, I looked out over the tall grass and imagined the Savior wading through the tall grass, making his way towards his disciples. A feeling of excitement filled my heart and I wondered, "could this really be the place?" I thanked my Father for the feelings that we stirring in my heart and I arose to walk the road deeper into the site. The road bent and continued around bends and turns. Each bend bringing new beautiful sites to be seen. It might sound silly to some, but as I was walking through, I almost hoped to see the Savior walk out from the trees and asked myself, "if he were to be around the next turn, would I be ready to see him?" The beauty of the place and the feelings in my heart that accompanied my pondering were a magnificent blessing to me. Walking back to the bus with my friend Gregory Barker, I felt full. I'm not sure there are words to explain it, but I felt complete, not lacking anything. I felt so happy and filled in that place that I really didn't want to leave.
Our next stop was Carthage Jail. There was something very special about this place. We walked through the very building where Joseph Smith the prophet was martyred. I looked out the window where he fell. I looked at the door where a mob pushed through with great anger. The bullet hole that took Hyrum's life was there in the door. We sat in silence as Gregory sang, "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief" in the room where the martyrs fell and the spirit was very strong. Upon leaving the building, we gathered and sang "Praise to the Man." In that moment, that hymn carried such weight and significance for me because I felt of the weight of Joseph Smith's calling. My whole life I have been a witness to the work that started when Joseph was a 14 year old boy. At Carthage Jail, his mission came to an end. I never before had been so eager to sing Praise to the Man, perhaps because in that moment, I wanted so badly to praise that man for all that he sacrificed for you and me. The spirit filled me again as we sang. I left the visitors center, and before getting dinner, I thanked my Father for the feelings which He had permitted me to feel.
After a brief bus ride, we arrived at Nauvoo the beautiful. We quickly unloaded from the bus and began walking toward the temple to go to a performance called the trail of hope. As we walked down the street, we came around a building to see the Temple standing majestically in the evening sky. The sight took my breath away. I immediately knew that there was something special in that city. The trail of hope made the exodus from Nauvoo feel very real to me as actors gave portrayals of how the saints in that time felt to be leaving their beloved city. There was a memorial at the end of the trail by the Mississippi River dedicated to those who lost their lives on the trail headed west. One of my new friends, Hallie Holyoak and I chatted as we made our way back to the hotel. We talked of the sacrifice that so many had made so that we can live the gospel today. This became the theme for me throughout the duration of our trip. We saw several performances there in Nauvoo, enjoyed different sites, and each others company. Everything filled me with gratitude for those who came before me. My ancestors felt so very real to me and I wanted to live my life in a way that would continue the legacy that they built. Our last night in Nauvoo, we gathered in front of the temple and sang hymns. We were all grateful for the things that we had experienced there and didn't want to leave. We sang, and hugged, and prayed as our hearts were fixed in Nauvoo and the spirit that had overcome us there. Leaving Nauvoo was difficult for each of us as we began our journey back to the west.
On our way back to Rexburg, We made stops at Winter Quarters, Independence Rock, and Martins Cove. I received several names from my mother of people who may have died on the trek west and as I was at the cemetery in Winter Quarters, I found several of the names that she had sent me. This was a very interesting experience for me. My ancestry, those who gave me my blood, lived and died for this work. I stood in awe as their sacrifice felt evermore real to me. Arriving at Liberty Rock, we climbed to the top of the rock to see names of pioneers etched in the stone. It became easy to imagine the pioneers finding great hope and excitement in the rock where they could see the success of those who had come before them. I could almost feel their spirits as I looked West and could only imagine the feelings that they must have been having as they looked out over the same plains. I am so grateful the for the sacrifice of those beloved saints who gave everything they had to build a legacy of greatness. They lived for their Savior. On that rock, I thought to myself that while this trail was theirs to travel, I can join them on the same journey. It is a journey of seeking Christ. It is a journey of not fearing what man may do or think, but following God and letting the consequences follow. I spent the remaining time on the journey filled with a hope and fire to continue the legacy that they began.
Looking back on the experience, I began to wonder what was it exactly that created such a strong spirit? What on earth allowed those 5 days to be so meaningful for me? I then realized something that I had not fully realized during the trip. I believe that two factors changed the trip for me and shifted my frame of mind. First, I believe that desire is the most important ingredient to having a spiritual experience. As I entered these different places, my heart yearned to feel of the spirit and to gain a testimony of the things that happened at each location. That desire was considered by the Lord and I was greatly blessed with an abundance of the spirit. I could never return enough thanks for all that I have received. Second, I could not say enough about the group of people that I now call my friends who joined me on the journey. It was a group of people who were shamelessly seeking the Savior. We praised and worshiped almost constantly through song, prayer, and conversation. This built a comradery and spirit of unity that was undeniable. I grew to love my fellow travelers and I am so grateful that I was able to be with them. I want my life to be filled with the feelings I felt on this trip. I want my life to be one of shameless seeking and desire. I want my life to be dedicated to my Savior. Because His was dedicated to me.
What are you doing to shamelessly seek him today?
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